Be Your Own Psychotherapist
But no matter what you think, you still need to know the characteristic nature of your own mind. If you don’t, then no matter how much you talk about the shortcomings of attachment, you have no idea what attachment actually is or how to control it. Words are easy. What’s really difficult is to understand the true nature of attachment.
For example, when people first made cars and planes, their intention was to be able to do things more quickly so that they’d have more time forrest. But what’s happened instead is that people are more restless than ever. Examine your own everyday life. Because of attachment, you get emotionally involved in a concrete sense world of your own creation, denying yourself the space or time to see the reality of your own mind. To me, that’s the very definition of adifficult life. You cannot find satisfaction or enjoyment. The truth is that pleasure and joy actually come from the mind, not from objective phenomena.
Nevertheless, some intelligent, skeptical people do understand to a degree that material objects do not guarantee a worthwhile, enjoyable life and are trying to see if there really is something else that might offer true satisfaction.
When Lord Buddha spoke about suffering, he wasn’t referring simply to superficial problems like illness and injury, but to the fact that the dissatisfied nature of the mind itself is suffering. No matter how much of something you get, it never satisfies your desire for better or more. This unceasing desire is suffering; its nature is emotional frustration.
Buddhist psychology describes six basic emotions that frustrate the human mind, disturbing its peace, making it restless: ignorance, attachment, anger, pride, deluded doubt and distorted views. These are mental attitudes, not external phenomena. Buddhism emphasizes that to overcome these delusions, the root of all your suffering, belief and faith are not much help: you have to understand their nature.
If you do not investigate your own mind with introspective knowledge–wisdom, you will never see what’s in there. Without checking, no matter how much you talk about your mind and your emotions, you’ll never really understand that your basic emotion is egocentricity and that this is what’s making you restless.
Now, to overcome your ego you don’t have to give up all your possessions. Keep your possessions; they’re not what’s making your life difficult. You’re restless because you are clinging to your possessions with attachment; ego and attachment pollute your mind, making it unclear, ignorant and agitated, and prevent the light of wisdom from growing. The solution to this problem is meditation.
Meditation does not imply only the development of single pointed concentration, sitting in some corner doing nothing. Meditation is an alert state of mind, the opposite of sluggishness; meditation is wisdom. You should remain aware every moment of your daily life, fully conscious of what you are doing, and why and how you are doing it.
- This article is excerpted from Be Your Own Psychotherapist
We do almost everything unconsciously. We eat unconsciously; we drink unconsciously; we talk unconsciously.Although we claim to be conscious, we are completely unaware of the afflictions rampaging through our minds, influencing everything we do.
Check up for yourselves; experiment. I’m not being judgmental or putting you down. This is how Buddhism works. It gives you ideas that you can checkout in your own experience to see if they’re true or not. It’svery down–to–earth; I’m not talking about something way up there in the sky. It’s actually a very simple thing.
If you don’t know the characteristic nature of attachment and its objects, how can you generate loving kindness towards your friends, your parents or your country? From the Buddhist point of view, it’s impossible. When you hurt your parents or your friends, it’s your unconscious mind at work. When acting out his anger, the angry person is completely oblivious as to what’shappening in his mind. Being unconscious makes us hurt and disrespect other sentient beings; being unaware of our own behavior and mental attitude makes us lose our humanity. That’s all. It’s so simple, isn’tit?
These days, people study and train to become psychologists. Lord Buddha’sidea is that everybody should become a psychologist. Each of us should know our own mind; you should become your own psychologist. This is definitely possible; every human being has the ability to understand his or her own mind. When you understand your own mind, control follows naturally.
Don’t think that control is just some Himalayan trip or that it must be easier for people who don’t have many possessions. That’s not necessarily true. Next time you are emotionally upset, check for yourself. Instead of busily doing something to distract yourself, relax and try to become aware of what you’redoing. Ask yourself, “Why amI doing this? How amI doing it? What’s the cause?” You will find this to be a wonderful experience. Your main problem is a lack of intensive knowledge–wisdom, awareness, or consciousness, therefore, you will discover that through understanding, you can easily solve your problems.
- This article is excerpted from Be Your Own Psychotherapist
To feel loving kindness for others, you have to know the nature of the object. If you don’t, then eventhough you say, “Ilove him; I love her,” it’s just your arrogant mind taking you on yet another ego trip. Make sure you knowhow and why. It is very important that you become your own psychologist. Then you can treat yourself through the understanding wisdom of your own mind; you’ll be able to relax with and enjoy your friends and possessions instead of becoming restless and berserk and wasting your life.
To become your own psychologist, you don’t have to learn some big philosophy. All you have to do is examine your own mind every day. You already examine material things every day– every morning you checkout the food in your kitchen– but you never investigate your mind. Checking your mind is much more important.
Nevertheless, most people seem to believe the opposite. They seem to think that they can simply buy the solution to whatever problem they’re facing. The materialistic attitude that money can buy whatever you need to be happy, that you can purchase a peaceful mind, is obviously not true, but eventhough you may not say the words, this is what you’rethinking. It’sa complete misconception.
Even people who consider themselves religious need to understand their own minds. Faith alone never stops problems; understanding knowledge–wisdom always does. Lord Buddha himself said that belief in Buddha was dangerous; that instead of just believing in something, people should use their minds to try to discover their own true nature. Belief based on understanding is fine; once you realize or are intellectually clear about something, belief follows automatically. However, if your faith is based on misconceptions it can easily be destroyed by what others say.
Unfortunately, eventhough they consider themselves religious, many spiritually inclined people are weak. Why? Because they don’t understand the true nature of their mind. If you really know what your mind is and how it works, you’ll understand that it’s mental energy that prevents you from being healthy. When you understand your own mind’s view, or perception, of the world, you’ll realize that not only are you constantly grasping at the sense world, but also that what you’re grasping at is merely imaginary, that you’re too concerned with what’s going to happen in anon– existent future and totally unconscious of the present moment, that you are living for a mere projection.
Don’t you agree that a mind that is unconscious in the present and constantly grasping at the future is unhealthy?
It is important to be conscious in your everyday life. The nature of conscious awareness and wisdom is peace and joy. You don’t need to grasp at some future resultant joy. As long as you follow the path of right understanding and right action to the best of your ability, the result will be immediate, simultaneous with the action. You don’t have to think, “If I spend my lifetime acting right, perhaps I’ll get some good result in my next life.” You don’t need to obsess over the attainment of future realizations. As long as you act in the present with as much understanding as you possibly can, you’ll realize everlasting peace in no time at all.
The above content is excerpted from Be Your Own Psychotherapist. To learn more about this book, click the link below. Be Your Own Psychotherapist
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